Do you need, to reinforce the differences of your twins, to consider separating them as soon as possible? If yes, when? Upon entering kindergarten? Will early separation help to nurture your children's personality or risk undermining their twin bond?
The twins, unique but united
- For decades, different works on twinning, especially those of René Zazzo * have shown that the twins were indeed two individuals with distinct personality. Hence the importance for their parents not to maintain the fusion between their children, but to make sure to individualize them by differentiating them by their clothes or in the choice of their extracurricular activities as they could do for children of close ages!
- But it does not mean that we must deny the singularity that characterizes the twins: they come into the world having already a companion of life even before their birth. And this strong bond will help them grow and build.
No urgency to separate them in kindergarten
- The common practice is to separate the twins from kindergarten. Yet this recommendation is not based on any official text of the National Education. This habit would be rather founded - under the guise of privileging their individualization - on the fear of teachers to confuse them, when it comes to monozygotes, "true" twins and the desire to avoid comparing them.
- Kindergarten entry is a big step to go and can be quite anxiety-provoking: the child feels less protected than at home, he confronts other children ... But each of the twins has the ability to reassure his co-twin, without being cut off from other children. This is an asset, so why deprive your children of this strength?
Separate them in primary school, but when?
- Both avoid separation in kindergarten and privilege separation at the entrance to CE1. This seems like the perfect time to separate smoothly. It is besides, at this moment that the twins claim it naturally.
- From this period corresponding to a particular stage of their development of twins called the first phase of autonomy that lasts until the age of 12, each of your children will mark each day a little more its independence from his co-twin. They will develop their own universe, but will have a great pleasure to meet.
* French psychologist (1910-1995), author of The twins, the couple and the person, Paris, University Presses of France, coll. "Quadrige", 2005, 5th ed. (1st ed., 1960).